Success comes from Stalking

If you're reading this you're either creepy, creep-ed out, or wondering how I could justify the title. Maybe you already figured out that the title is an eye-catcher and I don't really condone stalking... You're wrong.

In our modern society stalking has its ups and downs. Enough jokes are running around with the complacency of Facebook stalking. And what happened to the good old fashioned stalking styles of the 20's, the 50's, or even the 80's. Remember when Steve Urkel's unhealthy attachment to the girl-next-door (Laura) was just another innocent comedic plot reason to have Urkel at the Winslow home?

You must read this blog on How a Tweet turned into a day spent with the director of The Community

 

"Are you stalking me? Cause that would be Super..."

The fact is that there is a line for stalking which is slightly arbitrary: How much the attention is wanted. And let's face the facts, in the film and theatre arts industry, we're all starved for attention! But what kind of attention? Respect. Gratitude. Appreciation. 

 

What is it that you want to accomplish with your career? Is it to be surrounded by talented, respectful, and courteous artists that boost your self-esteem, your creativity, your talent, and your career? If that's true than you need to become the kind of person that attracts those kinds of "friends."

 

"How can I know what kind of person attracts those kinds of people?" Good question (and thanks for asking - very intuitive of you). You can figure everything you need to know by stalking. Here's a list of (proper) ways of stalking as well as the goals behind them:

1. Who is in your industry at all? 
• Yeah, stalking everyone in Hollywood and New York makes for cool (and useful) party knowledge about who's who and what's what but what about YOUR  industry? Do you know who the small, medium, and big players are? Do you know who's talented and who just has a lot of "friends." You should. Do some online stalking - Google, Facebook, Twitter... And start asking around. Of  the people you do know, who do they know and admire... make a list and do some more online stalking.
2. What do those people like?
• We're all motivated by different things. Some people want love - applause, flings, real romance, etc... Some people are motivated by the money. Some people are moved by the experience, the opportunity to hone their craft or develop new talents. Some people find fulfillment in using their talents to help some cause or charity? 
• The basic fact is, if you like money, but you think the right person to befriend loves to help out autistic children for next to nothing you'll have to weigh your approach strategy. You may need to gain some mature respect for what drives that individual you want to become friends with or you may need to decide to "target" someone else. You should at least be prepared to discuss what they love rather than what you love.
3.  What have those people done?
• You mean you've heard of me, but you've never seen anything I've done... how flattering! It was nice to meet you. Come on, we all do it so that people will see what we're doing and APPRECIATE it. And trust me, let them do most (if not all) of the depreciating comments on something they have done. 
• Call up an agent and see if there is some way to get a hold of work they have done. Ask people that they know if there is some review you could read or if there is a YouTube or Vimeo account or some other way to see their work. Absolutely, this should be a beginning step to deciding if this is a person you want to learn your craft from. Maybe, the learning curve has nothing to do with "skill" but entirely with making friends - that's a viable part of the craft we all need to master.
4. What can you do for them?
• "You're writing a script? Me too! I also am working on producing this and directing that and staring in this and rehearsing that and organizing this! And since you brought it up, do you think you could help me out with x, y, z and so on? I really admire your work..."
• No. If you do your homework you should be able to discover what it is that your "soon to be friends" are involved with. Maybe you could join up in an organization they are a part of? Maybe you could straight come out and meet them and SINCERELY offer to help them on anything they're doing. "I heard you were doing x, if you ever need someone to help out I would love the opportunity to learn from you."
• We're all busy with our own things, but this industry is a collaborative field. Furthermore, there are people out there who can actually get things done. The sooner you become part of that club the sooner you will be able to accomplish some of "your" projects. If you wish you had someone to help you imagine how much everyone else does. Then further than by the sense of appreciation that comes from someone wanting to help you because they admire your work! That will make a friend and give you plenty of opportunities to show your talents without ever trying.
5. Where are these people?
• First off, where are they located in relationship to you and how does transportation affect your ability to befriend them? Secondly, what kinds of social activities can you be at where you can start to meet them personally? Facebook and Twitter are two great ways to track this kind of info down. Lastly, where are they going? You'll need to balance for yourself time spent on "friendships" with movement in the right direction. While you should always create and maintain as many friendships as you can you need to focus mostly on the people who are moving in the direction you'd like your career to go in.

Remember to not be creepy. Be fun, be cool, be gracious, and be respectful. Be a hard worker and be talented - or become talented. Start thinking like the person you want to be with the career you want to have and start believing that there are people who are dying to have you on their team. And remember, people like most the people that help them further their goals (and make a good living) and they tend to despise people that take up their time without adding value to their life.

 

Good Luck